My main reason for journeying down the bariatric path is to speak frankly with a nutritionist about my diet. As I’ve previously mentioned, choosing healthy foods is difficult for me because:
- Raw veggies do not agree with my Crohns’ disease very well.
- I hate/fear cooking so putting together ‘healthy’ meals prods at my anxiety.
- ‘Unhealthy’ foods are yummy.
- My taste buds are not very welcoming to foreign visitors (aka, flavor of many kinds).
I was nervous when I arrived at my appointment, though I’m not entirely sure why. My pride in being a perfect student shined, I believe, in my preparedness and my fastidious approach to following directions. I had taken each requisite quiz about my eating habits (I am an emotional eater – who’s surprised?), signed up for all the necessary classes, seminars, and appointments as instructed, and I chronicled the steps towards my weight loss goals. I even wrote out my pain as requested. I was ready to be teacher’s pet….er, dietician’s pet.
She thanked me for coming, weighed me (awesome, I gained a pound), and continued to thank me for completing each of the above mentioned assignments. But I didn’t want appreciation, I wanted personal attention. However, we spoke very little about my answers to the questions I had been asked, and she didn’t even read my letter of pain (and if I’m not validated for my writing skills am I even alive?).
I was put slightly off, but it was suddenly time to discuss food options and I this is what I was here for. She gave me some handouts with some meal ideas, what a plate of food should look like, and good options for lean protein. I quickly mentioned that I had Cronhs’ and was nervous about the amount of raw veggies of which I was supposed to be eating more. She asked me about cooked vegetables and I didn’t really have a good answer. They are supposed to hurt me less, but I’m not sure if they do. Her suggestion: trial and error.
Okay. Look. I get that maybe this is a difficult problem to figure out, but that’s why she’s the expert, right? The idea of just trying to eat and seeing what hurts me more and what hurts me less is what has framed my current eating habits. Doing this again just to qualify for a surgery did not sit well with me. The fear of certain foods is very real. But that didn’t matter because we were right back to focusing on how I was supposed to be reducing myself to 1,200-1,500 calories a day and really focusing on getting more protein and calcium.
Honestly, it was disheartening. All she could really offer was that “yeah, it may be a bit tricky figuring it all out.” Ya think, lady?! That’s why I wanted help.
So now I’m supposed to start incorporating things I can’t stand into my diet – clams, oysters, salmon, tofu, beans – along with other things I’ve never even heard of. Seriously, what the fuck is seitan? Or tempeh? My spell-checker doesn’t even recognize these words but I’m suddenly supposed to be able to shop for, make, and/or eat this stuff? And without diet coke to wash it all down?
Honestly, I’m far from thrilled. I was truly hoping for more guidance and support specific to my health and needs. This affects my whole family; it even affects my work place (those poor, poor people). I already knew this was going to be an uphill climb, but with my asthma and in this heat (oy vey!), I was hoping for a little more hand holding along the way.
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