I have so much dissonance right now; it’s depressing. I don’t know how to reconcile it all.
- I am sad. Not just because I disagree with many of the steps our new President plans to take and is now taking, but because of how divisive we’ve all become. Maybe we’ve always been this oppositional and I never noticed before because I am older now, and/or because social media’s presence in our lives is like a gossiping friend in our ear that never shushes up.
- I am frustrated. There seems to be little objectivity left when it comes to standing by our leaders. When did it become all or nothing? Can’t we support a leader but not all of her/his points of view? Can we not disapprove of some actions without disavowing a whole person?
- I am confused. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Clickbait and 24-hour news broadcasts have me running around in circles. How can we be impartial arbiters of the issues facing our country and world when our leaders shy away from the truth like it’s a spitting pot of boiling water?
- I am thrilled. Did people even know who their state or congressional senators were prior to this election? Did they know the difference? I know I’ve never known the name of any other potential Secretary of Education until now, when it matters to me and mine. People want to know and want to be involved. I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this level of passion and activism from others. It tastes like a breath mint in my mouth.
- I am scared. Violence has become a commonly spoken language and I don’t understand what everyone is saying. We hurt some, refuse to help others, and call it the ‘American Dream’. I want to be successful, too, but not at the expense of others. I want to help fix what’s wrong within our own borders but cannot do so while ignoring the outstretched arms from without, begging for a piece of the peace I surely take for granted every day. We’ve built emotional walls around ourselves for protection and now it looks like we’ll build a physical one; however, the results will be the same: we’ll be stuck with what’s on the inside, not protected from the out.
- I am hopeful. So many people seem to believe what I believe and there is solace in that. So many believe that people should make decisions for and about their own bodies without government regulations, that all people deserve to marry for love, that Black lives need extra protection and support right now (still), that taking in refugees may be a hardship and that maybe there is danger involved and that maybe we aren’t prepared to help so many helpless people and that maybe it is the right thing to do and we should do it anyway.
So yeah, I’m all mixed up and it is distracting from, you know, trying to still continue each day and live life. And yet, my five-year-old son clung to my arm this morning and told me that I was his true love, and all became right in the world for me. Focus, peace, simplicity. Proof that love is still, and always will be, all that we need to make the world go ‘round.